


Degrees of Awkward

by Hawkwitch



Series: oneshots [7]
Category: Yes Minister, Yes Prime Minister
Genre: Dark Comedy, Gen, One-Shot, anecdotes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4911523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkwitch/pseuds/Hawkwitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title: Degrees of Awkward<br/>Characters: Sir Humphrey et al<br/>Genre: One-shot<br/>Rating: PG<br/>Warnings: some nice words<br/>Summary: A collection of incidents the history better be silent about (not chronological).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Degrees of Awkward

„Do you want to smoke?“ Jumbo whispered, barely out of Sir Arnold’s office.  
„After a meeting like this I am inclined to say yes. Why not legalize this shit, if we can tax it.“ Sir Frank said. „There is a good argument in favour of it as it would diminish organized crime.“  
„This is just tobacco, you silly boy. Whatever you were thinking of, that it is, which it isn’t, this is politically too sensitive.“ Jumbo said and laughed to tears.

/// 

It was truly embarrassing to face the police on their own doorstep. Lady Appleby was innocently batting her eyelashes, looking surprised like she had no clue. Sir Humphrey tried to look down on the police officers like a big boss, but this impression was really difficult to pull off in pyjamas. Well-bred people like them simply did not have angry late-night rows, disturbing this otherwise quiet neighbourhood.  
The police officer looked at shattered glass everywhere and some pieces of broken once-chic vintage furniture laying chaotically outdoors. The police officer wrote something and shrugged: „Well, this is England.“ That meant they got away with a 20-pound fine only.

///

Delivery staff of DAA were sitting idly in the delivery room and gossiping.  
„I know he’s so fancy now being the PM and everything, but what is your favourite Hacker moment in DAA?“  
„My favourite Hacker moment in DAA? There was this bottle of vintage scotch... a gift to him, which I had to deliver into his office. Just when I was about to open the door of his office, Sir Humphrey banged the door open, super angry, and knocked me over. Guess what? The bottle broke. I of course took all the blame, but I will never forget Hacker’s face. It reflected an absolute paralysis of indecision: he simply could not choose whether he should cry or lick it off the carpet.“

///

„And this is it, Humphrey? I thought you were going to torture me until I confess.“ Sir John Halstead said.  
„Torture you? Tempting, but I am way too busy.“ Sir Humphrey said, glancing his watch.  
„Excuse me, but back in the good old days I would have started an interrogation session exactly by inviting the suspect to eat into some trashy place such as DAA canteen is. This meal was simply terrible!“  
„Very droll, John!“  
„And then put some eyedrops into the drink of the suspect.“ Halstead added.


End file.
